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I love my wife.

Recently one of my kids friends was locked out of her house after school and my beautiful “always willing to go for it” 40-something wife went down to her house, climbed through the window, and got her in. I’m very glad I was away at the time and did not know about it, or that I did not drive by and see her dangling from the window!

This episode of the Whitlow Family Show reminds me of a few things that I love about my wife Dana:

• Dana loves to dangle. She loves adventure and is not afraid to go for it or to risk it all. I love that about her. She is more future minded than past or present minded.  As a teammate she helps me to be free, focused, and not bogged down with past regrets.
• Dana gives. She is one of the most giving human beings I have ever known. She will literally give you the food off of her plate (and has many times), and gives with no strings attached.
• Dana loves God’s Word. She keeps eternity in clear view. You can’t be around her very long without hearing about her faith. She stamps God’s truths into every area of her life. I love that about her.
• Dana makes life fun. She loves to laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Laughing until we cry is commonplace. Because she loves to laugh one of my main goals in life is to give her lots of stuff to laugh about. As the years role forward Dana is laughing more and more. As her husband that really turns me on! So often as people grow older they laugh less, get bitter, and their personalities dry up. Not hers!

Dana is the greatest earthly gift God has ever given to me. Her life counts. To me. Our kids. And to others.

My wife of 26 years, who is more beautiful today inside and out than she ever has been, is 47 years old today.

I cannot even begin to say how awesome she is and how so very blessed I am to be called by her husband, boyfriend, lover, best friend, and “my man.”

Dana is a woman of virtue. She has incredible wisdom because she keeps her nose in the Book (God’s Word) every day. She speaks words of courage into my life, constantly. She makes me and the kids laugh, a lot. She loves, I mean loves, to aggravate us. She lives to cook great food, and along the way keeps us all pointed towards the positive.

If you sense that I love my wife, I do. Passionately. But to say that “I love her” is a HUGE understatement. I love her yes, more than any other human on this earth, but down the road from that I respect her. I know what she has endured, and overcome in life. We have overcome much together and managed by God’s love and grace to stay focused on each other, our six great kids and the vision that God has given to us.

Dana is the greatest gift God has ever given to me -and I am so SO blessed. She lifts me, challenges me, and distributes lots of fun along the way.

I LOVE YOU BABY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Michael Lukaszewski, lead pastor of Oak Leaf Church and initiator of  Launch And Lead has been helping church planters for some time. Michael helps churches by sharing information. He puts out in other words. He puts out the knowledge he has gained so that others can learn from him and his team. He has been one of my long distance coaches for a long time.

Recently I asked him via a comment posted on Launch And Lead: “How can a church plant get the word out about their church when 1) advertising dollars are very tight and we can’t do postcard mailings, 2) when the community you live in has sign laws that prevent you from using yard signs.”

I thought others might be interested in Michael’s 7 Steps (below).

1. Make road signs and have people put them in their own yards.

2. Print simple flyers (you can get nice full-color ones online for cheap) and get a group of your people to put them on doors personally. The most expensive part of postcards is the postage.

3. Print up some t-shirts and ask your people to them around town on a certain day or give your people bumper stickers for their cars. Or have them write with shoe polish on their windows.

4. Print business card size invites to a series (less than $50) and teach your people how to use them. Personal invitations are the absolute best way to invite people to church. About 75% of our first time guests come because they are personally invited.

5. Go through your budget and cut some internal stuff and use it on getting people there. My guess is that you could cut somewhere. You may need to sacrifice something you think is necessary to free up some money to get people to church.

6. Hire The Change Group to help you generate more operational revenue.

7. Make sure your church service is amazing. Somehow, people show up at what is good.

QUESTION: How do you get the word out about your church?

Amazing thought… a new “decade” is upon us.

Question: Where were you, and what were you doing, ten years ago?

I posted on Facebook and Twitter about my trip to the dentist with Rose this morning (below). The dentist did a fantastic job, she was a brave little girl, and I was more nervous than anyone! Check it out below:

Barry Whitlow At dentist with my sweet Rose. Any pain in my kids life tugs at daddy’s heart. I expect the same is true with our heavenly Father. (*Special thanks to Howard’s Dentistry for a great visit!)

@BarryWhitlow | TweetPhoto

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The “if”/”then” chapter of the Bible (John 15) is one of my favorites. It tells us:

• What we have to do to stay joyful (great time of year for that!).
• What is required for God to work a miracle on our behalf (the Creator of the heavens and the earth working a miracle for little ol’ me. What could be cooler than that!).
• That Jesus will be our “friend” if…
• That to participate in the greatest adventure life has to offer we have to be willing to play hurt.
• That God “appoints” us (amazing!).
• What we have to do to be “filled with the Spirit” (a requirement for a fruitful life and ministry).
• That God loves us so much that he is willing to give us a 24/7 coach (Counselor) if…

John 15 is a short chapter that is incredibly rich. Check it out!

Question: What is your favorite chapter in the Bible? Why?

I had an interesting conversation recently with someone who made the comment that some new church plants have “celebrities” that endorse their new church plants thus helping them raise funds. These solicited high profile people help them connect with other people of influence in order to accomplish their mission. Not a bad strategy, but I must confess that the term “celebrity” as it relates to church planting did give me pause. That is, until I realized that I too have my own rock stars of church planting.

I call them my coaches. These are the people that have agreed to take time out from their busy schedules to meet with me and allow me to pick their brains on a variety of topics. What sets a real coach apart is that they are willing to share knowledge, and knowledge is incredibly valuable to a church planter. Without these coaches, I am limited to my own experiences, knowledge, and view of things. Not a pretty site!

My coaches include church finance experts, Christian business people, and pastors of newer growing churches both locally and in other parts of the country (can you tell me who is missing from this list?).

But check this: There is a BIG difference between true church plant coaches, and people who simply dispense church plant information. Along the way I have received lots of information, but what is most valuable to me as a new planter is the coach who really cares about me as a player. How do you tell the difference?  A true coach does not ignore the player. They take every opportunity to coach. Why? Because they are truly care!

Advise dispensers are everywhere. They’ll give you just enough information to make them feel like they helped, and to get you off their back. They are famous for not replying, and for five words or less email responses. A coach on the other hand looks for opportunities to coach, to pour into a planter’s life in order to make them better. They are BIG picture minded and no matter how busy they are, they take the time to engage the player.

This side of heaven my church plant coaches will have no idea how much they have helped me and the people our church will reach. They are my church plant rock stars!

Question: Do you have any rock star coaches in your life?

On Sunday afternoon while traveling in a car to a family members house my family was literally inches from heaven. But there is a twist.

As we were traveling down a four lane city road in Nashville little did we know that there was an SUV traveling at a high rate of speed coming up behind us. I was in my normal mode of fun dialog with my wife and four kids and we were enjoying our leisurely drive to a family members house.

Out of the blue without warning the SUV went out of control just behind us, passed us on the left, crossed two lanes of oncoming traffic, split a very large telephone pole, flipped up into the air, and crashed onto its roof next to a building. All of the wires on the telephone pole came crashing down right in front of us. The good news is no other cars were hit and we believe the young driver and his passenger will live.

But here’s the twist. Unknowing to us other members of our family were traveling in another car in the opposite direction at the exact same moment in the exact same place. Amazingly, when the out of control SUV crossed through the lanes of oncoming traffic, it just missed slamming into their car by inches!

When we are inches from heaven our perspective changes. The important things in life come clearly into focus. As we continued our drive to our families house, my view in the rear-view mirror changed. I no longer saw just my family, I saw people I adore. People that I have the honor of hanging out with on this earth – for just a while.

I praise God for my inches from heaven experience. It  changed my view here on earth.

Question: What are some of the times in your life when you felt God was protecting you?

Last night while in bed I was praying/wrestling with God about why he asked me to plant Studio Church. I was going through my LONG list of why I should not be doing it. I’m not qualified, I’m not smart enough, I’m too old to start a new venture, I don’t have enough courage, there is a chance it could fail (again), people have told me over and over a different kind of church like this is not going to work, etc, etc. Then, all of a sudden, cutting through all of my garbage thinking came five words: “It is to glorify me.” At once I realized that planting Studio Church has very little to do about me, and everything to do about God. He will get the glory no matter what the outcome is. Throughout history God has used (for his glory) people who are not qualified, not smart enough, people that have little courage. If it should fail, I will praise him. If it succeeds, then the praises of my lips and the lips of all of those that find encouragement and hope through Studio Church will praise him. Win-win regardless.

It’s not about anything but glorifying our great and awesome God. That REALity set me free. It took a ton of pressure off and I praise him for that. Now, back to work… planting Studio Church!